Redefining What Makes a Relationship “Work”
There’s a quiet ache that lives in so many modern relationships.
You’re doing all the “right” things—sharing responsibilities, maybe raising kids, having date nights now and then—but something still feels... hollow. Distant. Like you’re with someone, but not in it together anymore.
Here’s a bold truth:
A functional relationship isn’t always an intimate one.
And staying together isn’t the same as feeling connected...
We’ve Been Sold a Version of Love That Leaves Us Starving
Culture taught us to look for compatibility, chemistry, and a shared five-year plan. But rarely did anyone teach us how to build sustainable intimacy, navigate emotional disconnection, or confront the inevitable evolution of long-term love.
And so we perform.
We compromise.
We stop asking for what we want—and sometimes even forget what that is.
But the truth is: real love grows. It stretches. It gets uncomfortable before it gets deeper.
And the best relationships are not always easy, but they are honest.
3 Signs Your Relationship Needs an Intimacy Check-In
1. You’re talking more about logistics than feelings.
(Who’s picking up groceries isn’t as important as who’s feeling unseen.)
2. Touch feels either transactional—or completely absent.
Intimacy fades not with a bang, but with a slow quieting of affection.
3. You miss being missed.
That sense of being desired, chosen, or even just truly noticed has slipped away.
If any of this feels familiar, you’re not broken. You’re human. And there’s a way forward.
Building (or Rebuilding) Intimacy in Your Relationship
Intimacy is not a one-time achievement. It’s an ongoing practice.
Try this:
Ask better questions. “How are you?” is fine. “What’s something you wish I knew about how you’re feeling right now?” is better.
Be willing to go first. Vulnerability invites vulnerability.
Touch with intention. Not just sexually—hold hands, sit close, rest a hand on the small of their back while passing in the kitchen.
Create micro-rituals. A shared nighttime routine. A moment of eye contact before leaving the house. These small acts matter more than you think.
Relationships Thrive on Depth, Not Just Duration
A relationship isn’t successful just because it lasts—it’s successful when it remains alive.
That means allowing each other to evolve, learning each other over and over again, and committing to curiosity even when it’s hard.
Connection is the goal. Not convention.
And the couples who understand that? They don’t just stay together.
They stay IN LOVE.